Shipping policy

We’ll get your gear to you. The rest is on you.

Free Shipping. Always.

Every order ships free. No minimum. No fine print. No “but wait.” We don't believe in adding friction to the part where you're already doing the right thing.

Processing Time: 1–3 Business Days

After you order, we need 1–3 business days to get your gear out the door. We're not a warehouse robot. We're people who also sometimes don't want to do things — but we do them anyway. That's kind of our whole thing.

During busy periods (holidays, the post-January-resolution rush, that one time a meme of ours hits), processing might stretch a day or two. We'll let you know.

Shipping & Delivery: 2–5 Business Days

Once it ships, expect delivery in 2–5 business days depending on where you live and the general mood of the logistics industry.

Tracking Your Order

You'll get tracking info as soon as your package ships. Then you can obsessively refresh the page — same energy as debating whether to skip the gym. At least one of these activities is productive.

Secure Checkout (Obviously)

All payments go through a secure, encrypted checkout. We respect your financial commitment to looking reluctantly athletic.

The Honest Truth

Delivery estimates are estimates. Carrier delays, weather, and things beyond our control can mess with timelines. If your order is taking longer than expected, email us and we'll figure it out together.

Bottom line: Free shipping. Fast enough that your motivation doesn't expire before the package arrives. Usually.